Quotation from: Dracula

Written by: Bram Stoker


Last night I went to bed when the men had gone, simply because they
told me to. I didn't feel sleepy, and I did feel full of devouring
anxiety. I kept thinking over everything that has been ever since
Jonathan came to see me in London, and it all seems like a horrible
tragedy, with fate pressing on relentlessly to some destined end.
Everything that one does seems, no matter how right it may be, to bring
on the very thing which is most to be deplored. If I hadn't gone to
Whitby, perhaps poor dear Lucy would be with us now. She hadn't taken
to visiting the churchyard till I came, and if she hadn't come there
in the day time with me she wouldn't have walked in her sleep. And if
she hadn't gone there at night and asleep, that monster couldn't have
destroyed her as he did. Oh, why did I ever go to Whitby? There now,
crying again! I wonder what has come over me today. I must hide it
from Jonathan, for if he knew that I had been crying twice in one
morning . . . I, who never cried on my own account, and whom he has
never caused to shed a tear, the dear fellow would fret his heart out.
I shall put a bold face on, and if I do feel weepy, he shall never see
it. I suppose it is just one of the lessons that we poor women have
to learn . . .

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